The Master of Disaster (in the kitchen)

When I look back at all the things I have/had in life, I realize that God has given me practically all that I have ever wished for and I am extremely grateful for it! But one thing he didn't give me is a sense of what to put in a frying pan. I am a walking time bomb in the kitchen. I have no clue of what I am supposed to do once I step foot into the kitchen. Each time I step into the kitchen, it feels like I am on another planet. Everything seems so strange and new. And unfortunately for me, I have to be away from home for another 3 years at the least and I have to live on whatever it is that I end up cooking in the kitchen. But God did show a little sympathy and he gave me a couple of room mates who know how to cook so I am sure I will survive for a few more months to come. But then again there comes a time in every man's life when there is a need to be independent and in my case it happened when my roommates headed out of town for the weekend. And so I decided to take the plunge.

I moved through the kitchen with the nimbleness of a Jaguar. I opened all the cupboards and shelves to check whatever was in them. Then I picked up a couple of vegetables from the refrigerator and dumped them all into a frying pan filled with oil. I switched on the stove and watched the vegetables sizzle in the oil pan. It was around this time that my hunger pangs struck again and I had to get something to eat, a light snack if you may call it. So I looked around for something to eat and by the time I found it, and started munching on it, the smoke from the pan activated the smoke alarm. I spent the next ten minutes trying to shut the damn thing down! So there I was sitting in a kitchen which was a total mess, the vegetables lay there on the pan fried and burned beyond recognition. That was when I realized that an overly cooked potato can be used to stone someone to death!

And just when I had given up hope of cooking something at home, I came across a beautiful creation - 2 Minute Noodles! The instructions were simple. The whole process seemed simple. And I finally didn't have to starve that weekend.

But now there is a program coming up in a couple of days where a lot of friends are planning a get together and the 'fun' part is that each one of us has to cook something and take it over for the party. I have tried warning them but nobody listens to me. Instead they say that I am just plain lazy! So here I am standing in front of the same frying pan with the same vegetables singing one of Jim Morrison's greatest hits:

This is the end my beautiful friend,

The end of laughter and sweet lies,

The end of nights we tried to die,

This is the end my beautiful friend.

And I am hoping against hope that all of those people get out of that party alive and on their own two feet!

God be with us!