Comic Relief. Courtesy: Starbucks

If you are a graduate student like me, I am sure you understand the importance of coffee in our daily lives. And if you are a graduate research assistant, any coffee won't do cause you're a Research Assistant, an RA and you deserve simply the best. What the American dream is to an average American citizen, an RA is to a graduate student. If you stay in America, it won't be long before you realize that the word coffee is often preceded by a name - STARBUCKS. Yes folks, there is no coffee like a Starbucks coffee.

Starbucks is the first thing that pops into every American's head when they think of coffee. So you can imagine the kind of impact they've had on this society and pretty much the world for that matter. Any company thats that big, does a lot to try and make the world a better place. Starbucks does this by using recycled cups and helping the coffee makers in remote parts of South America and urging it's customers to use reusable flasks rather than cups and so on and so forth.

But when it comes to remembering personal information about their customers, Starbucks has a long long way to go. By personal information, I do not mean that they have to memorize each customer's email id and phone number. I'd be a happy camper if they could just get the name right. They have a real problem with remembering names.

Now for those of you who haven't been to a Starbucks before, this is how it (usually) works. You walk in, you place your order and you give them your name. When the order is ready, they call out your name and you can fight your way through the sea of Starbucks customers and finally grab that well deserved cup of coffee. The only loop hole in the entire process is that they almost never get the name right. And if you have a long name, trust me, you can prepare yourself for what might be the most embarrassing moment of your life.

Before I go further, I need to stress on the fact that most of the names were actually spelled out to the cashier during the order. Here are a couple of the poor souls who got punished:

Nipun: The poor guy went in and ordered his coffee and when it came back, it had NOPOLE written on it. I'm sure Nopole is a very ordinary name! Sheesh!

Deepthi: This young lady wanted a coffee to help her prepare for an exam the next day, and this was what they had written all over the cup - IBTI. I know this isn't as bad as the previous one but it isn't a huge consolation either.

Divya: Poor little Divya had DIBIA written all over her cup. But it was pretty close to her name, don't you think?

Ram: This is a very easy name. It has just three letters in it. You would think "in what way could someone screw this up?" well, just like their coffee, Starbucks never disappoints. When Ram got his cup back, it had DOM written on it. Didn't see that coming now did you?

Arvind: Of course, I could never leave out a personal experience. I attract stupidity. It's a gift. It makes me unique. So I go in and I spell out my name and since the place was a little crowded (unfortunately), they were calling out names. I kept my fingers crossed hoping that they would get my name right but boy, was I wrong! The lady at the counter kept screaming "RAVIN, RAVIN". It took me a while before I realized that I'd been baptized with a new name. I have no clue how they got that name from 'Arvind'.

Experience is the best teacher. So these days when I step into a Starbucks coffee outlet, my name is TIM. Works like a charm. And to my fellow readers, I hope you pick a really easy name for yourselves.

Bring on the Latte!!!